The Greasy Spoon - The New Place

—Ey up, Joe.

—Alright Bob? 

—Yeah, gonna be a warm one today innit? 

—Yep, that’s why I thought we’d come ‘ere. 

—The cafe in the park, eh? Why not? 

—Dunno what the coffee is like. 

—One way to find out, ‘ang on.

…

—‘Ere are mate, try that. 

—Not bloody bad that, Bob, it’s got froth on it. And chocolate. 

—Yeah, it’s a cappuccino. 

—A what now? 

—A cappuccino. 

—The cup? 

—No yer yampy bugger! The coffee. That’s wha’ it’s called. 

—Ooh, I’ve heard o’ them. 

—Well, yer ‘aving one now. 

—I see Starmer is off on another jolly. 

—Yeah fuck knows what he thinks he’s gonna do. 

—Good that there’s peace for now though. 

—Ah yeah, the President was gettin’ a bit mouthy weren’t he? 

—That’s one way of putting it. 

—What’s Starmer going for?

—To ‘elp with the peace effort, apparently. 

—Like shit ‘e will. 

—‘Ere, we won’t get shat on sittin’ out ‘ere will we? 

—Nah, should be alright. Hey them crows are bigger than you Bob,

—Bollocks, you. 

—Hey Bob, see that fire at the recycling centre? 

—Ah yeah, but I don’t get what started it. 

—They reckon a vape.

—What the fuck is a vape? 

—Yer know those things they smoke that smell of fruit instead of tobacco? 

—Er, Ah, yeah, our Gracie’s fella uses one of them I think. I thought he were sucking on some sort of kiddies sweet. 

—Nah, in years to come, I reckon we will find out they are was bad as actual ciggies. 

—Right. 

—‘Ere, these cappu-wotsits are quite filling ain’t they? 

—Yeah. S’pose they are. 

—It’s like drinking yer pudding.

—Yampy bugger. 

—It is though! All that foam and chocolate. Reminds me of the trifles me Gran used to make. 

—I like a bit of trifle. 

—Yeah, and me. As long as hey have sponge in ‘em.

—Yeah, summat to chew. 

—So will we come here instead of Brenda’s caff then? 

—Ah, I like it there. 

—We can come ‘ere a few times. Break it up a bit? 

—Good idea. 

—Right, we having another cup of pudding? 

—Yeah, fuck it, why not? I won’t ‘ave any lunch.