Books
Here's a couple of my recent novels. You can find the rest here.
Old, skint, and completely fed up with the modern world.
Jack, Baz, and Ronnie are three sixty-something East Londoners who have spent their lives grafting. But when the world decides they are "obsolete" and kicks them to the curb, they find themselves in the same shitty boat: unemployed, broke, and wondering what’s left for a man of their vintage.
Their only refuge is the local pub, The Nag’s Head, where they spend their afternoons doing what they do best: ranting about the state of the world. But when an opportunistic producer captures their unfiltered, grumpy banter on camera, the "Grumpy Amigos" are born.
Suddenly, they’re viral sensations. It feels like the payday they’ve been praying for, but fame is a double-edged sword.
Behind the laughter and the YouTube streams, their lives are spiraling. They find themselves trapped between a police detective closing in on local corruption and an Irish crime syndicate that sees them not as "stars," but as the perfect cover for money laundering.
Caught in a pincer movement between the law and the mob, with Ronnie’s health failing and the bills piling up, the Amigos are forced into a high-stakes game of survival. From mopping floors at tech startups to navigating the murky waters of the East End underworld, they’ll have to rely on their wits—and each other—to make it out alive.
They’re Old, But Not Obsolete. And they’re about to prove it—one way or another.
Bob Death just died. That was the easy part.
Meet Bob. He spent his life in Piddle-on-Sea, perfecting the art of selling bins. Now, thanks to a very unfortunate incident with a park bench, he's stuck in the afterlife. But Piddle's afterlife isn't pearly gates and harps; it's a decaying, bureaucratic mess run by a shadowy corporation called D.E.A.D. (Deep Earth And Dirt).
His new "colleagues" include Balthazar the Bone-Dry, a Grand Wizard with a Ford Focus and a penchant for cryptic pronouncements; Willow, a Goth with a head-banging problem; and Silas Coffin, an accountant whose tape measure hints at a much darker side to "performance reviews."
When a rival afterlife franchise tries to muscle in, and a rogue necromancer accidentally opens a portal via strawberry jam, Bob finds himself promoted to "Director of Spectral Communications." His mission? To rebrand the Great Internment from an industrial cleaning process into a premium "Final Upgrade."
Can Bob, a man who once struggled to sell a wheelie bin, convince the newly deceased that eternal processing is actually a good thing? Or will he end up as dust, measured by Silas, and swept up by a murder of crows?
Join Bob, as he discovers that being dead is a lot like life… just with better coffee (thanks to Stan’s unique talent) and a lot more paperwork.